Diabetes is so expensive!

Amy-

I am so frustrated right now because I LOVE pumping but I keep accidentally doing things that waste me sooo much money! Like today...

So I was doing a site change and changing my reservoir, which you would think would be fairly simple at this point, since I've been pumping since March 1st. But no, I somehow managed to prime my entire reservoir onto the kitchen table while I was attempting to put the reservoir in my pump. Yeah, doesn't sound like a big deal, but that's 100 units of insulin wasted right there! I can still smell a very strong scent of insulin all around me and it's making me see red because it's a reminder that I wasted so much money!

About a month ago, I was drawing up Novolog into my reservoir, and I dropped the insulin bottle on the floor. That's like a 1,000 units I wasted then! I was ready to cry.

Twice now- the last time just 3 days ago- I guess I picked a poor infusion site because I was having a ton of blood sugars over 300 even though I kept bolusing, so I finally took off the infusion site, and the cannula was bent. And it's happened twice now! Wasting perfectly good infusion sets due to my stupidity!

I'm just really frustrated right now...I want to be the perfect diabetic and be the perfect insulin pumper and get everything right, and I also want to to prove to myself as well as my parents that getting an insulin pump WASN'T too expensive. But right now I am failing because my numbers aren't even good, like at all! AHHHH!!!!!

I guess I just need to take a deep breath and start new each day. Not just give up. I have been looking around on the diabetes community, though, and I see people who have A1C's of 5.2, and blood sugars constantly below 180, and eat less than 50 carbs a day, and I don't know how they do it, but I wish I could get to that point!

I may look healthy but after so many blood sugars over 300 I'm not feeling that great. I've even lost a few pounds which I know has to be due to high blood sugar. Which freaks me out because I know all the risks that all those high levels are going to entail!

Okay I shall stop now. Sorry for the whinging! Not that anyone is reading this probably!